|
|
controlling premature ejaculation: what is PE?
Premature ejaculation is usually an unmistakable experience to a man or his partner, but through the years it has been difficult for professionals to agree on a precise definition of this common sexual concern. As Helen Kaplan, M.D. and other professionals point out, this phenomenon may occur because the man is unable to recognize that he is about to ejaculate. And even when he does recognize he is approaching ejaculation, he feels he is unable to control or delay the process.
Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual problems. The condition is most often described as being an inability to delay ejaculation to a point when it is mutually desirable for both partners. The definition of when ejaculation is premature is subjective. While some men have trouble controlling their orgasm upon entry, others consider 5-10 minutes of copulation too little time. How long a man is able to last is not the important factor in diagnosing premature ejaculation. The crucial issue is if a man is satisfied with the length of coitus.
Premature ejaculation occurs when a man reaches orgasm and ejaculates too quickly and without control. In other words, ejaculation occurs before a man wants it to happen. It may occur before or after beginning foreplay or intercourse. Some men experience a lot of personal distress because of this condition.
The number 1 cause of premature ejaculation is an uncontrollable and overwhelming urge to ejaculate, produced from over-stimulation by your lover. This urge seems impossible to fight, or so people think! Your body reacts like this to ensure impregnation and the survival of our species. So basically it's a natural reaction. A natural reaction that you can alter. You know it can be altered because some men don't suffer from premature ejaculation and if it's a natural reaction it can't be a physical problem. So there is nothing medically wrong with you. (read more on controlling premature ejaculation)
More on controlling premature ejaculation
The main cause of premature ejaculation is biological. Upon sexual stimulation and arousal, the normal physical responses for a man and a woman are similar. A man will achieve a climax and then ejaculate about two to three minutes after penetrating the vagina. Women will reach orgasm about 12 to 14 minutes after intercourse occurs. Many women do not achieve orgasm especially if only penetration of the vagina by the penis occurs during sexual activity. Many women achieve orgasm through other methods of sexual stimulation although for some, orgasm is not achieved under any circumstances nor with any type of stimulation. Roughly 10% of women fall into this category. Other causes of premature ejaculation include psychological factors such as marital and relationship issues; performance anxiety (with partners new to each other and especially in the inexperienced partner); fear (associated with concerns regarding getting caught or discovered, sexually transmitted diseases or potential pregnancy ); and guilt (believing the activity is sinful e.g., premarital or extramarital sex).
For many years, sex experts have tended to say that premature ejaculation is caused by early 'conditioning'. In other words, the man's early, rushed (and perhaps furtive) sexual experiences had to be quick - so as to avoid detection! The idea is that all this hectic rush 'conditions' him to climax as quickly as possible.
Ejaculation is a reflex that, once a certain level of stimulation is reached, is automatic. Controlling the ejaculatory reflex requires that the man be able to recognize and regulate the amount of stimulation he is experiencing so that he does not reach the level that will trigger the ejaculatory reflex before he wants to.
A premature ejaculation CURE (different approach) provides you with the physical and psychological discipline that can be applied for an eternity. A CURE is usually obtained through more clinical approaches for dealing with premature ejaculation (i,e. therapy, hypnotherapy, mental and physical conditioning).
controlling premature ejaculation
A common side effect of one class of antidepressants is "sexual dysfunction." These Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRI) medications such as Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Celexa, and others, actually can inhibit the ability to ejaculate. Because of this, they have been used by some clinicians in the treatment of premature ejaculation. Your doctor or therapist can give you more information on this treatment.
The stop-start method involves the partner stimulating the man's penis, except that when the man instructs, the partner stops stimulating the man's penis before ejaculation becomes inevitable. Then as he feels he regains control, he instructs the partner to begin stimulating his penis again. This procedure is repeated three times before allowing the man to ejaculate on the fourth time. The couple repeats this exercise three times a week, until the man has good control, then they progress to stop-start with lubrication, and then intercourse with the woman on top and the man not moving. He again instructs her to stop moving when he senses he is losing control. The couple progresses over subsequent times to the having the man move, then side by side intercourse. Instead of stopping and starting, the couple may progress to merely slowing down to enable the man to regain control of his urge to ejaculate. The therapists counseling patients using this stop-start technique report a 90 percent success rate in delaying ejaculation.
Behavioral therapy is one possible approach for treating premature ejaculation. Most commonly, the "squeeze technique" is used. If a man senses that he is about to experience premature orgasm, he interrupts sexual relations. Then the man or his partner squeezes the shaft of his penis between a thumb and two fingers. The man or his partner applies light pressure just below the head of the penis for about 20 seconds, lets go, and then sexual relations can be resumed. The technique can be repeated as often as necessary. When this technique is successful, it enables the man to learn to delay ejaculation with the squeeze, and eventually, to gain control over ejaculation without the squeeze. Behavioral therapy helps 60% to 90% of men with premature ejaculation. However, it requires the cooperation of both partners. Also, premature ejaculation often returns, and additional behavioral therapy may be needed.
However, the primary treatment of ejaculatory control is helping a man, by various techniques, to repeatedly focus his attention on the increasing erotic sensations in his body as he approaches orgasm. By increasing his awareness of the buildup of these pleasurable sensations he is better able to judge where he is along the path of reaching an orgasm and ejaculating. (Note: orgasm and ejaculation are separate events, caused by separate systems in the male's body, though they usually occur at the same time. The term orgasm is commonly used when speaking of a male's ejaculation. Technically, however, orgasm is just the peak of the intense pleasurable feeling that usually follows a man being highly sexually excited. (read more on controlling premature ejaculation)
controlling premature ejaculation - Tips
Make some noise. Love moans help men (and women) relax, and they often help men last longer.
Once you have good control during masturbation, and appreciate whole-body sensuality, and feel comfortable breathing deeply during lovemaking, then you're ready for the couples program -- if you're in a couple. The couple approach is called the "Stop-Start Technique." First, arrange "stop" and "start" signals with your lover, for example, a light pinch or tap, or a tug on an ear.
Breathe deeply. One very easy way to stay relaxed while making love is to breathe deeply. The body has a natural tendency to breathe deeply during sex. But many men fight it. They think they should stay in control by not breathing deeply and making the little love-moan sounds that go along with it. But when men work to control their breathing, they often sacrifice ejaculatory control. Try breathing deeply. Let your breath go. Many men are amazed how much this one little change improves their ejaculatory control.
|
